The Weekenders: Baskets for Bucks Redux
by Lord Canti
Summary: In an alternate reality, Lor wins 10,000, then weird stuff happens...
1. To Live is to Fight

When you're under pressure, your inner world changes. It becomes suddenly smaller, less oxygen, fewer options, and no time. But things in your outer world are the opposite, they seem bigger, more scary.

In my case, it's a basketball hoop that seems to be a hundred feet away. It's the nerves, of course. Putting the ball through the hoop is easier than people think. There are tons of angles that will get you the point, even if you're off.

I know this, but I can't relax.

I can dribble the ball as long as I want, but the more I don't shoot it, the more I think about the pressure. I'm being watched by hundreds of people and then

there's the payday.

Slow, deep breaths. That doesn't work.

My friends–Tino, Carver, and Tish–are depending on me to make their dreams come true. The more I think about it, it bothers me. They should be making their own dreams come true. I am. I spend all my free time practicing for more than just fun. This anger is not helping my concentration, I really should just throw it.

Something changed inside me after I sank the first two. I really want this. The old me would have thrown it by now, and probably would have missed. The new me places the ball on the court, between my feet, and wipes her hands dry.

I shoot the ball and it goes through the basket like it's the only possible path. From the moment I let it fly, I knew it would go in.

By the time the ball hits the court again, the audience is going nuts, but I'm too far away to listen. I'm too concerned with what's going on inside me. It feels like I'm being born again.

I'm outside the stadium now. What happened after I made the shot until now is a blur, but I can imagine what happened, and it doesn't really matter.

Tino, Tish, and Carver are waiting right outside and I know what they want from me. I hope they at least congratulate me before asking for their cut.

While I was dribbling for the last free throw, I was thinking that I was being to generous with the money. Carver didn't really help me much, and Tino just dialed the phone. The only one I really owed was Tish, and even so, I went through hell for that money, she just happened to know the answer. I was not going to split the money evenly.

"Wow Lor! That was amazing!" yells Tish. "You really did it!"

"I knew you could do it, Lor." says Tino.

"Yeah, good job! Shoe-shopping spree, here I come!" says Carver.

What a surprise.

"Thanks guys, I wasn't expecting to make it. You guys have no idea how bad it was out there."

"You looked like you had it under control." says Tino.

"Can we talk about this at the mall? They're still open for one more hour." says Carver.

I sit them down on the parking lot instead. The lot's empty by now, even my dad is gone. With so many kids, I can't expect him to give me all his time.

There are bugs flying around the lights in this lot, and right now, I'm hoping they'll attack Tino or at least make some noise, because I'm feeling nervous.

"Guys, I was thinking about the money, and I don't think it's fair to split it evenly. You guys helped a little, but I still did most of the work."

Tish and Tino have shocked looks on their faces, but don't make a sound. Carver wastes no time.

"Whoa, you're going back on your word all of a sudden? If it wasn't for me, you might have missed. You already promised us. Just how much are you planning on giving us, then?" he says.

"One thousand for Tish. Five hundred each for Carver and Tino." I say.

"That's crazy! After I helped you with your shot!"

"You just told me what slipped my mind at the moment. I would have remembered during the contest, no matter what. What do the rest of you think?"

"I'm a little disappointed." Tino says. "But it's your money, so you can do whatever you want with it. I know I didn't really help. Just being your friend shouldn't entitle me to what's yours."

"I agree with Tino." Tish says. "So I guess you're giving me more because I answered the question, right? Maybe you should split up that extra five hundred so there's no hard feelings."

"No." interrupts Carver. "That's not what I want. I want you to keep your promise, Lor."

"I didn't promise anything, Carver." I say. "When I said that, it was just a spur of the moment thing. And if you're gonna be such a baby about it, maybe I won't give you anything."

"I can't believe how greedy you are. You haven't even had that money for an hour and you're already a different person."

"No Carver, becoming a different person is what let me win that money. I'm tired of people calling me stupid. I'm not going to be recognized only for my athletics. I'm going to take that money and I'm going to make more. And if you don't like it, you can go fuck yourself!"

I turn and walk away, surprised at myself. I expected that Tish and Tino wouldn't have much to say, and I'd rather talk to them alone, later. As I walk away, I hear Tino say, "did she just say..."

I spoke to Thompson last week. No stuttering or anything. It was right after we had called the radio station and was set to make those free throws. I was excited about it, so I wandered Bahia Bay looking for him. I didn't even think about my anxiety around him. I told him about it and he wasn't impressed.

"Ten grand seems like a lot," Thompson said. "but when you think about it, what can you really do with it? You can buy stuff, but nothing that will last. You can't even buy a new car with that. I'm happy for you, Lor. I think you can do it, but if you do win, don't expect it to change your life."

"What would you do with it if you won it?" I asked.

"I'd probably find a way to invest it. Most of it, at least. I'm too young to do it myself, but my old man knows about that stuff. By the time I got out of high school, I'd probably have enough to go to college without getting a part-time job. You see where I'm going with this? Responsible planning will secure my future."

"You're such a wild man, Thompson."

He cracked a smile. Did I really say something that smooth in his presence?

"Seriously though, I have some savings bonds now, but not enough for college. But I'm not worried because I have a plan for however much money I end up with. I'm not trying to tell you how to spend your money, Lor. I just don't to see you end up with a bunch of stuff that will only make you temporarily happy."

"Thanks, Thompson. I'll think about it. Really."

And there went my idea to buy a horse with the money. I wouldn't have been able to keep it for long with only ten grand, anyway.

I walked home that day and really thought about what I wanted. I wanted to be responsible with my money, but I also wanted to have fun. I wandered the town, trying to focus.

In an alley between two shops along the beach, I noticed a woman holding a long pipe chasing a man. She caught up with him and started hitting him, then kicking him. After the man stopped struggling, she took his wallet and took the money out. Then she dropped the pipe and started walking towards me.

I couldn't stop staring at her. I couldn't even blink. She stopped in front of me and looked at me, not saying anything. Her clothing was revealing and her make-up was caked on. I guess she had what it took to lure in a few poor suckers. She continued looking at me, then she just started walking away.

"Why did you do that?" I asked.

I couldn't tell you why I didn't just let it go. I had gotten two tastes of success that day, it must have gone to my head.

"I do what I have to do to survive, little girl." she said. "Money isn't free."

Sometimes money is free. But not enough to last. Any amount of free money is just a chance to change your life a little. To live comfortably, we have to rely on ourselves. Those are Thompson's words, not my own, but I believe them.

The woman walked away, with the beat-up guy's money in her bag. Her life in her own hands.

Now, I'm back on that street where I met that woman, thinking about how to invest my money. I don't want to end up the same stupid Lor, with a bunch of stuff that means nothing.

I'm back by the alley from last week,

She's there. With Thompson.

My first thought is to run to him in case he needs help. But I stand behind the corner looking at them. They seem calm.

Thompson holds something in his hand and gives it to her. She's not holding any kind of weapon over him. He turns away quickly and heads toward me, so I scoot back and act casual. He turns the corner and yelps a little when he sees me.

"Hey Lor." he says. "How's it going? Oh, it must be going great huh?"

By now, everyone in town knows I won the contest.

"Yeah, I'm doing good." I say. "So how are you? Talk to any scary women in the alley lately?"

"So, you saw. huh? It didn't mean anything, Lor, I swear?"

"Did she take your money?"

"Well, yeah, that's what they do."

"How can you accept it so easily? You're lucky you didn't end up like that guy from last week. She beat him pretty badly."

"Well, I had to pay. That guy probably owed her money and didn't pay. That must be why she beat him. But now that you mention it, it is pretty weird that she did it herself. They usually have some guy do it for them."

"Why do you keep saying 'they,' Thompson?"

"You mean you don't know? You thought she was just taking people's money? Well, let's take a walk, I'll tell you all about it."


	2. Once Upon A Hamster

There's sometimes a hamster. You see it and think it's cute, so you keep it as a pet. You feed it, keep it clean, and even name it. Animals aren't named in nature; they have no use for them. But you name it because it makes you feel good. It feels good to have control over another being. Because no matter how hard you try, it seems like you don't have control over your own life.

A hamster doesn't worry about things like love or money.

I thought I was in love with Thompson. I wasn't. When it's just a crush, you can forget about that person in a few days and move on to the next one.

Thompson wasn't the person I thought he was. I couldn't believe he would actually pay for a woman like that. Suddenly, I'm over him and I'm comfortable around him. Being friends means forgiving his dumb mistakes. If we were a couple, I could never forgive him seeing a woman like that.

He's done more for me these past couple of days than he ever did being the object of my crush. Now I'm sitting here on a park bench waiting for him, without anxiety. It seems silly to have had a crush on him for so long. And I'm considering not having anymore crushes altogether.

"Hey Lor." he says, and makes me jump a little. He snuck up from behind me. "Is that a hamster?"

"Yeah." I say. "I thought he could use a little fresh air for a change. He must get bored being in his cage all the time."

"It must be, huh? But at least it's safe."

"I think he'd be willing to take the risk, to get out of his usual routine."

"Yeah, I would too."

"So, what did you come up with?"

"Well, with your 8,000 that you set aside and the 4,000 that I have in bonds, we have 12,000 dollars. I talked to my dad about investing–didn't mention you of course–and he said it's too risky in the short term. If we want to make any money in the market, it'll take years. We could also put it into a savings account, but we'd just be sitting there watching it grow slowly."

"And having fun is half the point."

"So the last thing we could is use that money to start a business. We'd be partners, of course you'd get two-thirds and I'd get one-third."

"But we're not old enough to even get a business license."

"Well, I know some people. We could get someone old enough to sign the papers, but we'd actually be running the show. Or we could always start the kind of business that doesn't require a license."

"What kind of business is that?

He laughs a hearty laugh. The bastard.

"An illegal one."

"Is it risky?"

"Nah, not really. We're still minors, so they can't do much, even if we were caught. But we'll be careful, so don't worry about it."

"You don't want to sell drugs do you? That's not my idea of fun."

"Of course not. If you want fun, how about a brothel? It's a place where hookers work, before you ask."

"Again with the hookers?"

"Well, I've had the idea in mind, I'll admit. They make great money in such a small amount of time. It's a great business if you can handle it."

"You're not suggesting I become a hooker are you?"

"Of course not, we'll hire our own girls."

"Well, to tell you the truth, ever since you talked to me about hookers, I've been curious. But we can't trust them. A woman like that will take us for everything we have."

"Well, we could hire younger girls. And I'll be there, so there's not really any danger from the girls. I just hope we can get some interested."

"Well, where could we do this? We can't exactly do this from our garage."

"There's some abandoned houses at the edge of town. We could use one of those and nobody would ever find us."

"It sounds like a nice fantasy, but could it really work?"

"It really could. We just have to be careful and discreet."

"If you're that sure, then I guess I'm in."

"Great! I know this is going to work. Don't worry about anything. I can start finding some girls right now, you wanna come?"

"I'll catch up with you."

Thompson runs off and stumbles on the curb. I don't know why I didn't want him to know how excited I am about this, but I hid my enthusiasm well, I think.

My little hamster. He keeps wanting to run off the bench, but I'm always there to stop him. But who am I to stop him? I place him on the floor and he scampers off into some bushes. He can go wherever he wants to go. I just hope he knows what to do when he gets there.


	3. A Past and Future Secret

WARNING: This is rated R, so if you get offended easily, don't read it.

If your dad saw a bunch of slutty-looking women pile into your room, what would he think? There's not really any way to hide them. What are you gonna do? Sneak them in through the window? You'd never get away with it. You have to plan for these things.

Today, we're meeting with some girls who want to sell their bodies for money. We can do this in my bedroom, because nothing is out of the ordinary. I know I'm doing something illegal, for money, but it doesn't seem that way to my dad. All he sees is a girl with some of her friends. It's because the girls we're recruiting are all my age. Thompson's idea.

How impossible would it be to try to handle even high school girls? This is really the only way to do business. And Thompson says it's a specialty market, so men will pay us more than they would for adult women. But I don't want to imagine what kind of sicko would be into this. But that's not stopping me.

Everybody is willing to do this, so there's no victim.

Right now, there's three girls with me. Marie, Dot and Bree. Thompson spoke to them earlier and sent them over to me to get my approval. Thompson wants to make this as equal between us as possible. So nobody gets unless we both say so. But there is one exception: Frances. Thompson says she's definitely in. In Thompson we trust. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, and besides, I'd really prefer not talking to Frances.

How did Thompson get such a big response? I can't imagine he just went up to every girl and said, "hey, you wanna be a hooker?" He did say the key thing was being discreet, but even then, I don't know. Maybe just something I don't.

I'm bringing them into the bathroom with me one person at a time. As uncomfortable as this is, I don't want to make it worse by making it a group activity. Even better, the toilet can mask anything too embarrassing to risk being heard.

Bree is first.

"Bree, I know Thompson already talked to you, but are you sure you want to do this?" I say.

"Yeah." Bree says.

"Are you really sure? You're gonna have to service any guy that comes in."

"Whatever."

"These guys could ask you to do anything. And there's bound to be some really sick guys."

"Whatever."

"They're gonna be..."

And suddenly, I'm uncomfortable. Even though Thompson gave me a primer on everything I need to know, it's hard to talk about it. He showed me video files of every possible sex act we could be asked to perform. But that was nothing compared to actually talking about it. He taught me all the words and made me say them. Even so, it's tough. For the old Lor, it might have been impossible.

I have to remember I'm a new person. And if I want to truly change, I have to fight through this.

"They're gonna be what?"

"They're gonna be... well, they're gonna pounding your pussy all night long. They'll stick their... dicks in your mouth."

"Whatever."

"Why would you want to go through all that?"

"For the money."

"You're okay with all that?"

"Whatever."

"Alright then, you're in."

She walks, hunchbacked, into my room and calls in Marie.

"Hey Marie. I can't really believe you're here. How did Thompson talk you into doing this?"

"He didn't. I practically begged him to let me do it. He approached me and we were just talking. He asked me if I had ever slept with anyone. I told him I had never even kissed a boy. I'm surprised I said that much, but I felt comfortable with him. After he told me about what you guys were doing, I told him I really wanted to take part in it." Marie says.

"But why? This isn't like you."

"What is like me, Lor? How would you know? You, Tino, Tish, and Carver only talk to me on my birthday and sometimes in class. That's why I want to do this. I don't have any friends. I don't have any self-esteem."

"Doing this job won't get you friends or self-esteem. It'll probably do the opposite."

"I just want to feel something. Anything." she pauses. "Have you ever heard the philosophy that we can't achieve our destiny without many experiences, good and bad? Maybe this is a bad idea. But I'm tired of just sitting in my room, feeling sorry for myself and waiting for my birthday to come."

"Come on, Marie. You're still young. You can make friends and do whatever you want."

Marie stands up.

"No, I can't! What are you trying to protect me from? You wouldn't have started this kind of business if you weren't curious about it yourself. I want to do it, so don't pretend like it's something that will ruin me forever. It's just sex. And if I don't do it, I'll end up worse than you can imagine. I have rage in my heart, Lor."

"What kind of rage?"

"It'll be bad, Lor. You don't wanna think about it. You're gonna let me do this, or I'll tell everyone about it."

"Fine, Marie. But when you come to me asking to quit, and you will, you better not tell anyone."

"You don't know me as well as you think. But as long as you give me the chance, I won't tell anyone."

"Will you call Dot in here? You can wait in the room."

I felt so powerful earlier today. I had a secret, tons of money, Thompson, and total control. But being extorted by Marie just kills my fun. Especially since she's such a loser. I know this is going to be bugging me all day, but if she had just begged me to let her join, I would have felt fine. So what is it? Another person has some control over me. I'll let it slide for now.

But I can't stop thinking about it.

Dot bounds in, smiling. She takes her seat on the toilet with me leaning on the wall opposite to her. It's not very formal, but the small rug between us kind of resembles a desk. Now that I'm staring at it the whole time.

"Hi Lor. This is a weird thing you got going here. I never thought you would do something like this." Dot says.

"Well, we all have to change. I guess this is one of those things we experience to grow and stuff." I mutter.

"If you say so."

"So, uh, anyway, why do you want to join?"

"Because. I've been, like, giving it away for free for a long time now. Might as well get paid for it."

"So you're experienced huh? But didn't you do it because you really liked the guy you did with?"

"Not really. Most of the time I don't even know their names. I just have sex with them because I need to."

"You need to?"

"Well, I could just masturbate, but it's not the same. Even if I do it three times a day, I'm not totally satisfied."

"That's not normal is it?"

"Some girls on the internet say I'm a nymph, whatever that means."

"I don't know either."

"It just feels good."

"So who are you doing it with?"

"Guys at our school don't know what they're doing. So it's mostly high school guys. Sometimes older than that."

"But they're just using you, aren't they?"

"No, I'm using them. It's all about me. I do it for my own pleasure."

"Can't you get some help for that? It sounds like you're addicted. And you're only twelve."

"Thirteen. And I don't want help. Come on, you know it feels good, so why fight it?"

"I don't... I mean I've..."

"Come on, you mean you've never... touched yourself?"

Dot gets up and stands on my desk. I've been staring for too long. But it's bad enough talking about this, I have to look at her in the eyes too? No way.

Now she's leaning next to me, on the wall.

"You mean, down there?" I say.

"I mean anywhere. I know you have. Don't be ashamed, it's natural."

"Well, sometimes, in the shower, if I'm just washing and I happen to graze that area, I can't help it."

"Yeah, right. You've never... slipped your finger in there a little? Come on, it's not like it's hard. You're already down there. Just give yourself a little... massage."

"I'm not scared or anything, if that's what you're thinking."

"I'm sorry, am I making you nervous?"

"I'm not nervous."

She runs her fingers through my hair. I don't dare look at her.

"You're so cute, Lor. Why don't you let me show you a few things? As long as we're in here."

"I don't need you to show me anything."

"You're blushing Lor. Is it because you're nervous?"

"No."

"Or because you're excited? That's natural though."

"..."

Dot walks right in front of me and puts her face close to mine. I turn away and close my eyes. She puts her hand on my arm and rubs it.

"Relax." she says. "You've done it before. Haven't you? Haven't you ever just slipped your finger in and close your eyes? What did you think about? Thompson, maybe? It doesn't really matter. It's your own body, it's warm in there, it feels good, so just do it.

"I didn't know you liked girls this way too, Dot."

"Not really. Just think of this as a learning experience."

Dot puts her hand on my leg and moves it up between my legs, under my skirt. I had to choose today to wear a skirt for the first time...

"It's so hot down here, Lor. You could cook a pizza down here."

Pizza. Fries. Funville. Games. Fun. Why did I give all that up? Is it so wrong to stay a child, even after puberty? What would Dot say?

_I'll show you some real fun._

Now, Dot has her hand up my shirt. And I'm still closing my eyes. Even so, it's still happening.

"Your nipples are hard, Lor. They feel good too, don't they? This is nothing, Lor. Take off your clothes. I'll show you so much more."

"That's okay" I say. "Maybe we should... take a break."

Her entire body is pressed against mine and she just whispers into my ear.

"Come on, Lor. I can show you so much. You'll feel good forever. This is going to be your business, you have to know it."

She's sucking on my neck and she has one arm around it. The other is in her own skirt.

"Lor, you smell so good."

She's breathing hard. I can barely take a breath. Sweat drops that form on my brow start to drip down my cheek, and they tickle, but I can't move to wipe them away. She's trying to get her mouth over mine, but I'm turning away.

"It feels good, doesn't it? Why fight it? I can teach you, Lor. Teach you so much."

She's breathing harder. Now she's pulled me so close her breasts are pressed warm against mine. Her mouth is full of my hair. And she's breathing even harder.

Suddenly she stops.

She breathes slowly and deeply and sits back down on the toilet.

"So Lor, for all those reasons, I think you need to let join you."

"Sure, I just... need a break."

"Of course."

She skips back out of the bathroom.

I splash some water on my face and look in the mirror.

Why am I doing this again? Financial security? To prove something to my friends? Because Thompson said I should? I'm doing it for myself. I think. It's not so bad. What are my alternatives? Doing the same things I do every weekend? It gets boring. I don't want to end up like Marie.

The bitch. Thinking she can tell me what to do. What a cowardly bitch.

Dot's got it right. She may be weird, but at least she's up front about everything. I do need to move on and grow up. And Marie needs to accept her failure and leave me alone.

I need to grow up and take life by the balls. Nothing is too risky, and it's all worth it. Heaven can wait for me. I have a lot to do here.

Enough thinking. Time for action.

I go back into the room and gather the girls, we're going to visit our future work site.

We go down the stairs and as soon as I open the door Thompson walks up. Nona is with him and he has one hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, Lor." he says. "I got one more possible recruit here. You heading out?"

"Hey, Thompson. I was just going to show them the building." I say.

"No problem, I'll take them there. I think you need to talk to Nona."

"That's fine, I guess."

"See ya later then."

Dot, Marie, and Bree walk out and Nona walks in. She looks depressed. I hope she's not thinking this job will be a fun time. It probably wont be that simple, everyone else has surprised me today. She'll probably do the same.

We walk up the stairs, into my empty bedroom. Nona looks down the entire time.

"So Nona, why do you want to do this job?" I ask.

She doesn't say anything for a while. She's choosing the right words.

"Did you know my dad was in jail?" she asks.

"No, I didn't know."

"All the adults in town know. I'm not surprised they didn't tell their kids."

"Why? What happened?"

"Why? Because they want to make this town seem safer than it really is."

"It's not safe?"

"It seems like it's sunny every day doesn't it? You think you know everybody in town. And you feel safe. It's not a dangerous town, but it's not as safe as you think."

"What happened with your dad?"

"He used to work out of our home. Selling all kinds of things over the internet. He spent most of his time in front of his computer, especially after mom died. It was just me and him and he didn't have anything else to do. So he used the computer all day and night. He never let me in to see what he was doing. He would just leave some money on the kitchen counter every morning, and that was it.

"After a few months, he started going out at night, and I had no idea where or why. I would just go to sleep and assumed that he came back. Every morning there was some money there, so I didn't ask questions."

"Didn't you care? Didn't you try to get him to be like a normal dad?" I asked.

"Of course I did. He wouldn't listen. He always made excuses and told me after he made some real money on the internet, we would move someplace better and have fun every day. I didn't believe him, but I didn't know what else to say, so I pretended like everything was fine.

"One day, he sat me down and told me we were having a visitor. I thought it was strange because I never saw him with any friends, so I thought maybe that's who he was seeing so late at night.

"The guy showed up and the last thing my dad said that day was, 'Just do whatever he says.'

Nona's face sinks into her hands, and I can't tell if she's crying or what.

"So, what happened? I ask.

She _was_ crying. Her face was full of tears, but he didn't make a sound.

"He raped me. I thought I could forget it, but he came back the week after that. It happened all the time. And then there was different guys coming over. After a while, I stopped resisting. I just figured, the faster I cooperate, the faster they'll be gone.

"On the nights my dad was gone, I always thought about running away, but I didn't. I didn't know what to do. Then, one day, the FBI just busted into our house. They took my dad to jail."

"I think I remember seeing that on the news, that was your house?"

"That was my old house. I'm living with my aunt now."

"So your dad's in jail?"

"Yeah, it turns out he was involved in some kind of group of men that 'shared' their daughters with other men. The last one he talked to was an FBI agent pretending to be one of those guys, and they caught him."

"So he's gone now, right? That doesn't explain why you want to do this job."

"He's going to be released next month. There was some kind of technicality, so they have to release him, even though he was supposed to be there for 25 years. They're letting him move back into our old house. I'll still be with me aunt, but I don't want to even be in the same state as him. That's why I need this job. I need enough money so that my aunt and I can move away from this place. So, please just let me do it."

"But these guys are going to be doing exactly what those other guys were doing to you. You really want to through with that again?"

"I don't, but really, I got kinda used to it. I'll be able to forget about it, and I'll do anything to be able to leave this place."

"Well, I don't feel right about it, but I can't decide what's best for you. It's up to you."

"Thanks, Lor. This really is for the best."

She leaves before I'm able to say anything else. I don't really think it'll work for her. But I can't think of what would work, so I can't say anything.

Everybody I talked to today surprised me. And I never would have had this opportunity to learn the truth if it wasn't for this brothel idea. I don't know if it was for the best or not, but it's too late to go back now.

I have to see my friends tomorrow. This day has been so weird, I need to go back to my old life, just for a little while and ease myself into my new life. I'm a little scared, but it change feels so exciting. Before I won that money it felt like time was standing still. But now, it's my chance to grow.

I still can't believe that Marie, she's not going to get away with this.


	4. Return to Fantasy

There's a light in the sky and I don't know what it is. But it seems like it's coming down towards me, and that's enough to worry me.

Tish is ready before I say a word. She has a fly-eating plant that is supposed to stop that light. I don't see how a fly trap could stop it. The light seems pretty big. She assures me it's the only way.

The light falls in the distance and hits a hill. The hill explodes and the shockwave is coming towards us, fast. I look at the plant and it just sits there. I look at Tish and she says, "Maybe we should've put the plant on that hill."

The shockwave hits us and Tish disintegrates. I'm still alive, watching at her evaporate, and I realize I'm dreaming.

"Wake up kiddo. Come get your breakfast before there's nothing left." my dad says.

My eyes won't even open all the way. The harder I try, the more they sting.

I roll over to the other side of my bed, but it's not there. I hit the floor instead. After that, I just roll out my door and down the stairs. Why bother getting up? I know what's going to happen next.

_Dogpile on Lor!_

And it happens. I squirm my way out and head for the kitchen. There's tons of dirty dishes and some food left. So I take advantage of this rare opportunity.

"Where's mom?" I ask.

"She's taking her after-breakfast nap." dad says.

Of course. I'd be dead tired too, having to cook for this herd. But who am I kidding? I'd never cook for them.

"Well then, could you give me a ride to the mall on your way to work?"

"Sure. Gonna do some shopping, Ms. Moneybags?"

"Nah. I'm meeting my friends there."

"Sounds good. Hurry and get ready then. We leave in 15 minutes."

There's a bunch of tents outside the mall. It seems like every shop in the mall has a tent outside today. I assume the gang will be in one of the snack tents.

My friends are already here. They've been waiting for me. They're in a snack tent. A sign says; "New! Wasabi Beef Chips!"

"Hey Lor!" they all call out at almost the same time.

And then Carver turns to Tino and says, "are those wasabi beef chips good? They look good, but I've never tried them. I've been wanting to taste them, though. But I haven't tried them. I heard they were good though, so I'd like to taste them some day."

"You... want some of these?" Tino asks.

"Okay, if you insist." Carver says.

"You want some too, Lor?"

Carver stuffs his face as I take my seat.

"No thanks, I had breakfast today." I say.

"You're kidding." Tish says. "You must have gotten up really early. You truly have changed, Lor."

"Maybe a little, but I don't wanna think about that right now."

And I really don't. I'm committed to the brothel idea. But today, I want to just have fun with my friends, like I used to.

"I've been thinking about something." I say.

"You must mean the tents." Tino says. "They say it's because they want to attract customers who just pass by, while at the same time, getting everyone some fresh air. But the truth is, the air conditioning in the mall is being fixed."

"No not that. That money I promised you. I'm going to give it to you. If you want the money now, I'll only be able to give you the 500 or 1000 for Tish. If you want the whole 2,500, then you'll have to wait, because I've already invested most of it."

"How are you able to do that?" Tish says.

"Thompson is helping me out. I'm only giving you the chance for all the money because I've recently learned the importance of money. No matter which you choose, I hope you'll let the money grow too."

"There's more important things than money, Lor."

"I know. But I figure I've already got everything else. The only thing I'm missing is a secure future. Carver, are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, and I'm sorry I flew off the handle that night. I had no right to demand anything." he says.

"And I'm sorry for yelling at you. Phew, I'm glad that's all settled, I was afraid our friendship might be ruined."

"You know we would never let anything break us apart." Tino says.

"Thank, Tino. So do you guys know what you want to do?"

"Maybe some video games. Few games of pool. The beach maybe?"

"I meant with the money. But I guess there's no rush. Let's go to funville first."

"Sounds good to me." Carver says.

"Me too." Tino says.

"Sure thing." Tish says.

I'm feeling better already. I have nothing to be anxious about, and here I was thinking I would never know what felt like again. It's going to just like any other day in Bahia Bay. The only weird thing is that we usually wouldn't do stuff like this on a Tuesday.

At Funville, we play a few arcade games before getting to the main event, pool.

Carver takes his sweet time chalking his cue.

"Come on, Carver. This place closes in ten hours." says Tish.

Tino comes back to the pool table with a tray full of chug-a-freezes and sets all four on the edge of the table.

And then Carver says, "Okay, now. The eight-ball is going to bounce off the table, ricochet off Tino's head, and right into the side pocket."

Tino looks up suddenly after hearing that, and when he sees the ball flying at him, he shoots the tray up to his face with a womanly shriek. The ball bounces off the tray and lands clean in the side pocket.

"My oh my. Is there even any point in playing another game?" says Carver. "We may as well get outta here, cause there's no way you guys will ever match that!"

"Yeah, we better stuff his mouth with pizza or might never shut up about this." Tish says.

"I could eat too." Tino says. "Those near death experiences work up quite a hunger."

Same old Tino, exaggerating like always. And Carver is as arrogant as ever too. But those things make them unique, not bad. And they're my friends.

So what if Carver's a little snobby? At least he's not as bad as that Marie, thinking she got the best of me. I haven't figured out how yet, but I'll get her. I won't let her blackmail me.

"Lor?" Tish says.

Pretty loud for Tish. Apparently she had to repeat herself because I didn't hear her the first time. I kinda spaced out a little.

"What" I say.

"Do you wanna eat or not?"

"Sure, I could eat."

"Alright then, jeez."

So we go.

"This is some good pizza." says Carver.

"Have some more." says Tino. "So, Lor. What have you been doing the past few days? Up to no good?"

"N-no! I've just been talking to Thompson. He's been helping me with my investments. And we're not dating if that's what you're thinking." I say.

"Relax. I was just kidding."

"I'd be nervous too, if I had that much money to worry about. No matter where you invest your money, the market fluctuates sizeably." says Tish.

"Really? What if I invested it in a fool-proof business?" I ask.

"No business is sure to succeed, even with the best plan. Ever hear of chaos theory?"

"No."

"Basically, it says that no matter how well thought out a plan is, there is always something that could go wrong. Even if it's just a minor detail, that little thing could develop into something that could destroy your entire empire."

"But it's just a theory, right?"

"Of course. There's no way to actually prove it. Not that you have to worry about that anyway. You didn't invest in a business did you?"

"No, of course not. But I really don't wanna talk about this anymore. I wanna try to relax."

"I'm with you. There's more to life than money anyway, right?"

"Right."

"Speaking of failed businesses." says Tino. "Isn't this the worst theme ever?"

"Yeah, sure is." says Carver. "The pizza isn't even as good as it usually is."

"Are you sure about that? Maybe it's just that we've been coming here so often, you've gotten too used it."

"Well, what are we supposed to do? Go a different pizza parlor?"

"Why not?" I say. "This_ is _a beach city. There's gotta be tons of them out there."

"I never thought about it."

"It's all kinda depressing isn't it?"

"What?"

"Nothing, I guess. Maybe I just need to get some sleep. I'll see you guys later."

They all say goodbye to me. Except Tino. He says "later days." what does that even mean? It seems like there's never later days around here. It seems more like a repeat of the same day. Is that what I'm trying to change? With my little business?

It's something. And that's what I like about it. It's something. But even now, my hands are almost wrinkled from the sweat. I keep telling myself it'll be fine, but I just don't know.

Walking alone at sunset is nice. I'm going to meet Thompson, but for now I'm alone and I'll enjoy it while I can. There's few people on the road and on the streets. They're either enjoying the sunset at the beach or just staying put to avoid traffic.

With nobody around it feels like time is standing still. So I feel as carefree as I ever could. I feel like I could be like this forever but I know the feeling won't last. Eventually, I'll get bored, I'll want to go see Thompson and start working on that stupid brothel.


	5. Nightfall

I've never been scared of the dark. I'm too tough for that. But there's something about the night that's always bothered me. I guess it's the mystery. During the day you can talk about ghosts, aliens, and zombies and treat it all like a joke. But at night it's different, especially when you're alone. All of a sudden, those strange things just might exist after all. But it's just your imagination.

Real horror lies in people. Once you meet that horror head-on, the night is no big deal.

The abandoned house Thompson chose for our brothel is at the edge of town. I've never even driven by this place before. It's dark and it's quiet. We should have enough privacy; no normal person would spend time here.

The old me might have been afraid to walk through here. Why wouldn't the zombies hide behind trees? One step too close, and your brains are gone. Completely eaten. All alone out here, I'd be a prime victim for those alien ships. No witnesses, so they beam me up and cut me open without fear of being seen.

I wonder if the sun has anything to do with it? It seems like once its rays are gone, your imagination wakes up and screws with you.

But now, it's like the sun is always shining. I can walk through here like I own the place.

I find the house, and Thompson is sitting on the stoop, smoking.

"Since when do you smoke?" I say.

"I just took it up." he says. "I'm hoping for a nice deep voice, like Kurt Russell. Even if it doesn't happen, the smoke alone will be good for my image in this line of work."

"It stinks, y'know."

"I know, but it fits."

He puts it out and gets up.

"So this is the place, huh?"

"Let's go inside."

Inside, it would be hard to see, even if the sun was out, because of the dust. Thompson turns on his flashlight and it does a good job of illuminating the dust.

And he says, "Let's open all the windows and let this place air out."

"Couldn't you have done all that while you were waiting for me?" I say, between coughs."

"Hey, we're partners after all."

We open the windows and try to coax the dust out with whatever soiled rags we can find. The dust on the furniture is so thick, it's almost like a protective shell.

"We're not really gonna have to clean all this are we?"

"Of course not. That's where the seed money comes in. We're gonna buy nice new furniture."

"Alright, let's let the air do the rest. I need to get out of here."

"Good idea."

We get outside and Thompson lights up another one.

If not this, what would I be doing at home right now? A little TV or phone time, then bed. Skipping television's not so bad. Doing something different feels good. But I wonder if I'd get tired of this if I did it for a long enough time. All I need to know is that right now, it feels right.

"So what now?" I say.

"There's not much to do." he says as he takes his seat. "We've got our employees and our place of business ready. All that's left is to get the word out."

"How exactly are you gonna do it?"

"There's chatrooms and message boards that cater to the kind of clients we want. They're careful about not running into any stings. And I'll be careful not to talk to any undercover cops. There's more to it than just asking 'are you a cop?' But if they are, they have to say so."

"Even if we get real clients, how do we know they won't blab to the cops later?"

"Please. They're gonna love this place. Just one visit here and they'll never do anything to risk losing it. They probably won't even tell their sick friends about it."

"Do you really think they're sick for liking young girls?"

"Well, I know girls can be married even younger in other countries, but this is America. They know they're doing something wrong, which is why they don't tell anyone about those feelings."

"But if they're wrong, then we're just as bad for doing this."

"They're gonna get it anyway. Might as well make some money off of them. Look at it this way, if we weren't giving them access to girls who are _willing_ to do it with them, they might end up raping an innocent girl and the vicious cycle would never end."

"You make it sounds like our girls are sacrifices."

"Let's face it, these girls aren't going to make it. Instead of letting these girls and those dirty old men continue on their path of self-destruction, we'll let them destroy each other, far away from those in society who still have a chance."

"If a tree falls alone in the forest, then it doesn't make a sound. You really think that's true?"

"Isn't it? There are thousands suffering in poverty in this country, and that didn't stop you from throwing away your pizza crusts did it?"

"... so you want to do this, all for the benefit of society?"

He doesn't say anything. He doesn't have to. I'm not going to pretend my motives are more important than his. This conversation is going nowhere and that's fine with me.

I stand above Thompson, both of us looking into moonlit dirt field. I put my hand on his head and flatten his blue spikes. He doesn't care a bit.

"That cigarette make you feel grown up?" I say.

"A little. More cool than grown up, I'd say."

"You're gonna need way more cigarettes."

"You need a certain something yourself. You're talking the talk, but you're not there yet. You look like the same old Lor, still suitable for all ages. You need to make some progress, this place opens soon."

"I suppose you're way ahead of me?"

"A kid looked at me and got scared. I'm getting there."

"Well, don't worry about me. I'm through with kid-friendly Lor. It's been long enough."

I step down off the stoop and head back into the field and its pathetic-looking trees. I don't look back, but I know he's waving at me. Probably a quick two-finger salute kinda wave. A normal wave isn't cool enough now, and never will be again.


	6. Angels Cry

Thompson is leading our girls through the abandoned neighborhood into our remodeled house, for our first night of business. It's still ugly on the outside, but very nice on the inside. It's nice enough to live in, if I wasn't scared of being murdered in my sleep.

I'm waiting inside, pen and ledger in hand, ready for anything. We're to scheduled to have three visitors today, all of them reeled in by Thompson himself. He says he's not going to risk approaching any more clients himself, no matter how strong the rumor about some guy's depravity. Thompson says, after tonight, the word will spread from these three, out to the perverted masses of Bahia Bay. Maybe even surrounding areas.

The crowd walks in and the girls take a seat on our fabulous velvet couch. Except for Frances, who is being led upstairs by Thompson. I agreed to trust him on the Frances situation, so I'm going to. Besides, I really don't even want to talk to her. It's just creepy.

Marie, Dot, Nona, and Bree. They're sitting and waiting, none of them looking very nervous. Their expressions are more like quiet anger, anxiousness, depression, boredom. It's hard to tell. It might be easier if I was screwed up enough to do what they're doing. I'm just a little less screwed up than they are; I'm only in charge of this thing.

Bree walks over to me and puts on her sunglasses. She can't see me again.

"I'm quitting. This is boring." Bree says.

"What?" I say. "But you haven't even done anything! This is the first day and we've only been in business for five minutes!"

"It's a waste of time. I'd rather just bite the bullet and ask my parents for my hundred a week."

She doesn't wait for my response, she just walks out.

So I'm just sitting, thinking about how I'll never understand cool people, when our first visitor walks in. It's Mr. Higgenbotham.

And then I can't move. My mind moves too fast to catch any of the thoughts that are rushing by. He's going to tell. He's going to see me and run out and tell everybody what's going on here. My family and friends will know everything and they'll hate me forever. I won't be able to finish school or geta job. I'm finished. Why did I ever agree to this?

"Lor, you look rather pale." Higgenbotham said. "Don't worry, Thompson explained the situation to me quite clearly. And there's no chance I would do anything to keep _this_ place from blossoming into prosperity. This is going to be like my second home. So don't worry, I won't tell anybody about you."

Just too creepy. But I can feel the blood rushing back, coloring my face again. I smile and nod, but I couldn't make eye contact with him. I take note of the time, date, payment, and name of our visitor, then direct him to our nice couch. Our ledger says _Angels Cry, _the name of our little brothel. I was supposed to say, "Welcome to Angels Cry!" But I was nervous and it's pointlessanyway. It's just a name, what we're doing is what's important.

"Go ahead and choose whoever you want." I say.

He stays where he is and faces them. Then he makes a beeline straight to Dot. No surprise there. She _is_ cute, blonde, and perky. She probably reminds him of the girl he was in love with in high school, but never gave him a second look. I figured this place would end up being a place for men to live out their fantasies.

I'm guessing Nona is going to draw in those guys with "jungle fever" or guys with a thing for tall girls. Word is gonna spread about Dot's experience, so I guess who want that quiet, youthful innocence are going to like Marie. As for Frances, I can't imagine what kind of guy would be into that. Maybe some guy that's as disturbed as she is.

Mr. Higgenbotham takes Dot's hand and they head upstairs, where Thompson is waiting to lead them into their room. Thompson has to be careful where he puts them, since he's keeping everyone's safety in mind.

Our first sale wasn't so bad. My nervousness is gone.

Then it comes back.

I hear the front door's knob turn and I look towards it. It's fully twisted, but the door isn't opening. Whoever's on the other side of the door is thinking about it. Then the door opens and it's Coach Coulson. Dumbass is actually wearing a trenchcoat and hat.

"Don't say anything Lor." he says. "I almost didn't even come because it's you running this place. If word got out about this–I mean, the school's star athlete and head coach should not be doing this kind of thing." he says.

"But here we are." I say.

"Yeah, we are." he says, as he lays the money on my guestbook.

I write down the details and he's already on his way. He takes Marie's hand.

"Thompson told me about you." he says. "I've been looking forward to this."

Marie looks a little worried, being touched this giant. But I really can't feel sorry for her, I just can't.

And he says, "don't worry, I'll be gentle with you."

He takes Marie and they head toward the stairs, but Thompson stops them. He tells them they can use the master bedroom downstairs. He shows them the way and then comes towards me.

"Why did you insist on this room?" I say.

Before he can answer, Dot comes running down the stairs and takes her seat.

"That guy is such a loser." Dot says. "He didn't even last ten minutes. I'll bet he hasn't been laid in twenty years."

"How was it?"

"Easiest money I've ever made in my life. I'm still not satisfied, of course. Actually...if you need me I'll be in the ladies' room."

She skipped away to bathroom. That old guy came down the stairs, with his head hanging. He didn't say anything as he left. Just walked out the door.

"So...Thompson, why did you put them in the master bedroom?"

"I just got a feeling. I don't want to see any of the girls harmed, so I put him there to keep an eye on him."

"How are you gonna keep an eye on him?"

"The master bedroom has a two-way mirror."

"Good thinking, Thompson. Ha, I'll bet you've been planning every detail for years."

"You wanna check it out instead? I'll take your place here for now."

"Okay. Where to?"

"In there. The closet next to the bedroom. Call me quickly if anything happens."

I go inside and close the door. There's a crack of light in a lump of curtains. I pull them back and I can see and hear everything. I doubt he even told the girls about this. No sense in making them more nervous than they must already be.

Coach had taken off his coat in there, and he was wearing his PE clothes underneath. Marie walks in from the bathroom and she's wearing her PE uniform too. She sits down on the bed and he stands over her. I have a feeling this is going to be disturbing.

"What's wrong Marie?" He says, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm failing three of my classes. I don't want to get held back. Can you help me?"

"I don't know. That depends."

He starts rubbing her shoulders.

"I don't want to do this coach."

He sits down and puts his hand down her shorts.

"Just relax, Marie."

"Okay."

"No, keep resisting all the way through."

I don't want to see this anymore. It's sick, but it's not dangerous. I'll leave up to Thompson.

I walk back out to the front, and the door comes flying open and I hear, "Hey, yowza!"

I can't believe it's him. There's gotta be less annoying perverts in this town.

But it is. I don't even want to talk to him, and I don't have to. Thompson rushes right up to him and takes him upstairs, telling me to fill out the info on his way up.

He must be here for Frances. I thought whoever that person was, it would be a freak like Jan the "Man." I'm thinking he's seem many prostitutes since he's a loser, but he has plenty of money. He must have done every possible thing with them, now he's bored with them. And now he needs a freak like Frances to satisfy his freakish taste. Sicko.

The night's coming to a close, I guess. The coach is still doing his schoolgirl routine with Marie, and our final guest is here now.

I lock the door and sit next to Nona. Thompson comes back down and smokes at the counter.

"Hey Nona." I say. "Sorry you didn't get to do anything today. I'll give you a little something for your time anyway."

"That's ok, Lor." she says. "I'm glad to just get out of the house. But I guess business is going to get better right?"

"Yeah, I think so too."

Not even a minute since I'd locked it, someone is banging on the door. I look at Thompson and I know this is bad news. The guy behind the door is screaming.

_Jaaaaaaaaaaaannnnn! I know you're in there! I heard your phone call!_

The idiot was followed here.

_Open up! You animal! Jussahoin there fusisisnmam! I'll kill you!_

The door is kicked open and Thompson grabs a baseball bat. This guy at the door doesn't even look at Thompson, he rushes to the stairs. He looks like Frances's dad.

Oh shit.

This guy runs up the stairs, towards the room, and we're right behind him–even though we should be running for our lives. But I'm following Thompson, like we agreed. If he's not scared, it makes me feel a little braver.

And then this man right here knocks down the door and I realize what he was saying.

_Just a hole in the air for servicing men._

This is the role Thompson had in mind for her. And I'm hating him, and myself, right now.

Frances is wearing some black bondage crap. She's suspended from the ceiling with padded rope, with her legs and torso supporting her weight. She's bent over backward and she's holding scissors in her hands, looking at them intently, chanting "pointy, pointy" in between groans of pain.

Jan is shouting "hey, yowza!" every time she makes her disgusting grunting sound.

There's some music playing. Beethoven or Mozart or something, and it's pretty loud. He still doesn't realize we're in here.

This is really sick right here. I can't imagine how Frances's dad must feel. His eyes are glassy and he doesn't make a move.

Suddenly, he grabs Thompson.

Whatever I felt I had to do here, it's over. I wish I had never met Thompson.

I'm walking down the hall and I hear Thompson's grunt.

I'm running down the stairs and I hear a loud thump.

I'm out the door and I hear Jan's womanly scream as clear as day.

I'm running across the old field with Marie, Dot, and Nona not far behind me.

All I feel is hate.

I hate what Thompson did to me. I hate trying to do something else, and ending up being hated for it. I hate being known only for my sports.

Nobody wants me to grow. That's it. Everybody stays the same and everybody's happy.

_Lor, I don't like where you're going with this. Make it like it used to be. When everybody was happy._

I hate you all.

-

I make it to my house somehow. Nobody followed me, but my legs and chest are on fire.

I crawl into bed, but there's no way I'm sleeping. All I can do is think.

Is Thompson going to tell on me? Is he even going to live through the night? I'm mad at him, but I don't want him to die. I hope he's alright. Marie, Dot, Nona. They might tell on me.

I'm going to be lying here all night, waiting for the police to knock on my door. My life's over.

I just think and think and think.


	7. Rise and Fall

There's a light shining through my sheets. It blinds me, even though I'm under blanket. They've come looking for me.

But it's not flashlights. It's the sun.

I feel asleep somehow, last night. I guess I'm too dumb to think without falling asleep.

Lie perfectly still, and time doesn't pass.

I can't face life out of the bed yet. Although I'm safe, I guess. If the cops found out about the brothel, they would have been here by now. They would have taken me and asked me questions until I cried and told them everything. I know I would have cried. I'll probably cry anyway.

My guess is after Frances's dad beat up everybody he could get his hands on, he left without telling anyone, since he could get in trouble too. Especially if he killed them. God, I hope he didn't kill them.

I can't believe he'd do this to me.

It's the sun. And the blanket. It's too hot to stay here and it's getting hard to breathe, but I stay a little while longer. Then I pull the blanket from my face.

And I pull it again. And again. And there's still more blanket covering me.

I panic and I start flailing wildly, hoping to fall off the edge of the bed, but I can't seem to find the edge. I don't think any amount of tossing can entangle me this much. But I can't seem to do this.

It's like when I camped out in Tino's yard and the wet tent fell down on us. Except this is like a much bigger, hotter tent.

I stop to catch my breath.

My brothers. They must have pushed all their beds together, put me on it, and covering me in on giant sheet, being held down on the edges. I'm not in the mood for this.

What if he really is dead? I won't be able to live with myself.

I had forgotten. Thompson gave me a pocketknife to carry just in case. I still have it in my jean pocket.

I'm tearing a hole through this thing. Serves them right anyway.

The blanket is thick. Where did they get this thing? Or did they make it? They always go to such lengths to torture me, but they never put that hard work to any good use do they?

I make it out of that furnace. The sun is as bright as it's ever been.

I look around for the edge of the bed and realize it. This is my bed. I've been shrunk down to the size of an insect.

It's too much. I flop back down on top of the blanket and close my eyes. As much as I don't want to face reality, I don't want to waste any time dreaming. Reality is strange enough.

-

There was another dream. It was so quick I don't even remember it, but it seems like only ten minutes passed.

My entire room is still too huge for me. I feel like I'm the same size, so it must be the room. And the only way that could be is that I still can't wake up from this dream. Laying back down didn't work, so I try pinching myself.

Doesn't work.

There's a dark movement that scares me so much, it should have woken me up, but it didn't. That thought scares me more. Just what is it gonna take to wake me from this?

It's a cockroach, crawling up my bed, right towards me. If this were really happening, I'd be out of here so fast. But just maybe, this thing will give me the shock I need to wake up. So I stay.

It stands up on its hind legs and slaps me on top of my head with its antennae.

"Is that it, Lor?" it says. "When was the last time you were able to think this clearly during a dream? For that matter, when have you ever not been able to will yourself awake?"

"Are you saying I'm not dreaming?" I say. "Cause I think I am. I mean, has my bed always been this big?"

"Are you trying to be funny? As a matter of fact, it has. I should know."

"So..."

"Yeah, it's you that shrunk."

"Okay. I shrunk and talking to gross bugs now. Am I supposed to believe it? It sounds like something out of a silly Saturday morning cartoon."

"And yet, if it happened during WWII, it would be fine literature. By the way, you're much grosser than I will ever be. Even when you or your ultimately smashes me into a fine paste. Your species is the truly grotesque."

"And why's that?"

I'm getting tired of this bug's smart mouth. It's bad enough when Tish makes me feel dumb.

"It's because you do the stupidest things. Even the most intelligent of you will make the worst choices. That's why we're here and now."

"Right, I see. You're my spirit animal and you're gonna guide me through my troubled times aren't you? Go ahead and lecture me. I just wanna wake up from all this."

"Still don't believe it, huh? I suppose you learned your lesson the second you realized you had done something stupid, right? Now, you've got it all figured out right?"

"I'm dealing with it. I hadn't even thought about it until you brought it up. Shows how over it I am, doesn't it? And now you're bugging me, so I'm just gonna walk until I wake up."

He hits me on the head again. The antenna messes up my hair, not that I care.

"You won some money, used it to turn a worn out house into a brothel, and hired some poor girls to perform deviant acts for money? And here I thought it was just a simple quarrel among friends. You obviously are not over it."

"And that's why I'm here, right?"

"That's right."

"Shrunken down and talking to disgusting bugs."

"Humans are the only animals with delusions that they need to look a certain way. You look the way you need to look to live in your environment. We all do."

"And just what is it that makes you qualified to counsel humans?"

"You humans flawed because you think too much. Where simple decisions should be made to survive and live your life, you complicate things by letting stupid concepts get in the way."

"Uh huh. Like what?"

I'm humoring him now. No bugs tells me what's what. And then he hits my head again.

"Like that. The need to feel superior. The need to feel more mature than your cohorts. Jealousy. Anger. You need to think like every other animal and live by logic. Eat to survive. Mate to reproduce. That's all it takes."

"There's no way we could live such boring lives. What about enjoyment? "

"Enjoying yourself is fine. As long as you don't let it get in the way of living your life. Enjoyment should be a spice in your life, not your life in itself. That's where you went wrong. You weren't content with just living. You had to live faster than the rest. Because of that, your world is ending."

"What do you know? You're just a bug."

"I don't know myself, why me. But like I said, we bugs don't question our lots in life, we just follow our instincts and live as best we can. Why isn't important, though. What matters is that I can help, and I'm going to."

"Okay, so help. According to you, I'm not dreaming, I shrunk, and my life is ruined because I did something stupid, right? What can you do?"

"All I can do is take you a journey of discovery. It's up to you what you do afterwards."

"Whatever. You can't do anything. Go help somebody else."

"There's nobody as requiring of my assistance as you are, Lor."

I'm sick of this. This stupid bug is really annoying and my head is killing me. I'm going to jump off the edge of the bed, and hope that I wake up from all this.

The roach notices. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"I'm waking up." I say, then I jump.

A split-second later, I land. It was too fast. I didn't realize it was only two feet to the floor. The physics of being small are not kind.

And then I realize I'm still dreaming. And nothing is broken. Even thought, for my size, it seemed like a two-story fall.

I'm on my small knit rug and when I open my eyes, the bug is there again.

"I told you." it says. "You're not dreaming."

"I have to be dreaming. A fall like that would have broken something in real life. But I don't even hurt that much."

"Then, if it's a dream, shouldn't you not be hurting at all?"

"Uh..."

"Your bones didn't break because when you shrunk, your muscles and bones shrunk along with you, and became denser. Haven't you ever dropped a mouse or hamster from this height?" he says and then hits my head again. "Yeah, you have. And it wasn't hurt was it? It just walked away."

I finally break down and cry. My first real cry.

I don't even know what real is anymore. I can't wake up. If this is real, I can't do anything about it.

Crying is perfectly is order.

I feel a gentle stroke against my hair. It's comforting and I'm wishing it's my dad, waking me from my sleep and telling me everything will be alright. But I open my eyes and it's what I thought. A blurry antenna.

"I see. I understand, Lor. Just humor me and let me try to help you."

I take my time wiping my tears and standing up.

"Alright, okay. What do you want me to do?"

"We're going to take a little trip and figure it all out together."

"Won't that take forever? Look how small we are."

"It'll be fine. We're not going to walk, we're going to fly."

"Fly? Cockroaches can't fly."

He laughs out loud. It strange. A cockroach's laugh is quite a thing. It's creepy, but I'm glad I'm dreaming long enough to hear it.

His back opens up and wings pop out. This is something new. When something like this happens, I don't mind the situation, just experiencing something new makes me forget everything, even if it's only for a few seconds.

Whatever this bug can or can't do for me, at least it's something new.

"Alright, Lor. Climb onto my thorax and hold onto my antennae."

"It won't hurt you?"

"No, it'll be fine. We're survivors."

-

-

-

Note: I've been more productive now that I can't spend time online at night. Although I miss chatting with everyone, at least I can get more work done. But anyway, I'll be back soon enough. Until then...


	8. Victim of Fate

It's just a bunch of stuff, flashing in front of me. Just when I think I got a hold of what something is, I lose sight of it and start seeing the next image. It doesn't really matter what it all is, not really. Like the bug says, it's one of the stupid things we do. We just always need to know just where we are, don't we?

I can't tell how much time passes. Is this what it's like to dream within a dream?

I would tell this roach to slow down if I thought he could hear me, but I don't dare move.

-

The next thing I know, we're in front of Tish's house. It doesn't feel right, not because I'm looking at everything from a bug's point of view, it's something else. It's like when I was on painkillers after my knee surgery, but worse. I can't even keep track of what's a dream and what's a hallucination.

Then I see Tish. She's crying silently, at her doorstep. I wish I could feel sorry for her, but at this moment, in between thinking about what's wrong with me and trying not to think with the splitting pain in my head, I know she'll survive.

My new friend's voice is softer now. Just a breezy voice in my head.

"Stay up against the post" it says. "You don't wanna get stepped on."

"Maybe I do." I say, holding my head together.

"Your head? Wish I could help with that, but I can't. Try to ignore it."

"Sure I will. So what's wrong with Tish?"

"It's getting dark soon. They're worried about you. Remember, you're an insect now. So, to them-"

"-I'm missing."

"You see, you're still important to them. This was just one stupid mistake you made, one of many you'll make in your life."

"Just fly me up to her face so she can see I'm alright. I don't want to see her like this."

"Then you'll end up being smashed. When was the last time you looked into a bug's face before killing it? She won't recognize you. It'll be a murder by reflex. Not much you can do in this state."

"What about Tino and Carver?"

"They're out looking for you. Tish is staying behind in case somebody calls."

"What about Thompson? And the angels? And the customers? And Frances's dad?"

"We were just there, buddy. Try to remember."

-

This roach is right. We were there, but it's just an image now, not past or present. It's like a comic book. The story is just there, to be read and re-read at any time. Without any indication of when it actually happened, if it happened at all.

There's Thompson on the blue velvet couch, sleeping soundly with a bloody nose and lip. A bunch of cigarette butts on the floor below him. He wouldn't leave the place, even with the danger of cops showing up, but they didn't. Everything was broken in rage, probably by an angry father, but maybe by Thompson too.

Everyone else was gone. Gone back to their terrible, but stable lives. No way will they ever mention this to anyone. Better to pretend it never happened. Even Thompson will heal and he'll forget about this.

Everything is back to how it was. Except for me, there's no going back for me. I can't even wake up from all this. Once I do wake up, I wont ever heal.

But the bug says, sure I will.

-

Dot went back to giving it away for free. Marie went back to her life of nothing. And Nona, well, the bug thinks I should go see for myself. So we go.

"Why are we here, bug?" I say.

"You have to see this." it says.

"Are you ever gonna tell me why?"

"I told you I don't even know myself. Just focus on waking up, okay?"

"Okay, so what am I looking at?"

"Look at Nona, sitting on that chair in front of the front door. She said she wanted to get away, but is that a bag in her hand?"

"No, it's a gun, so what? Wait a minute. What is she gonna do?"

"Looks like she's waiting for her dad to walk through that door."

"She said she wanted to get away from him!"

"But instead she took what little money was left at Angels Cry, and bought a gun with it. It was her plan all along, as you may have guessed."

"Why do I have to know this. I've accepted my mistakes, okay? I don't need to be seeing this."

"I don't think you have. You still seem to think it was all just a wacky adventure. A chance to try something new. Well, isn't it true."

"Well. Everything was just so boring. It was the same old thing every week. I'd slog through every weekday, hoping the weekend would bring a new adventure. A new lesson learned."

"That's life."

"It doesn't have to be, though. It can be more than that. Right?"

"It sure can, just don't expect to live comfortably. Get used to crying."

"Can we go?"

"Yes."

Nona doesn't move an inch. As we're leaving, she sits there with a hard-boiled look in her eyes. Her hand grips the gun with a sweaty jitter. I know she's going to kill her dad, but there's nothing I can do, except get up close to her and get flattened.

This might be something good to try to remember if I ever wake up. She might really want to kill him. Even if she doesn't I owe her an apology and I want to tell her I care.

But I don't know if I really do.

-

That moment on front of Tish's house is now again. Everything in between is just fluttering roach wings and dizziness. I can't even tell if time has passed because it's just Tish crying and sitting there.

Tino and Carver come walking down the street, from opposite ends, meeting in front of Tish's house. I stand as close as I can to hear what they say.

They've been looking for me for hours, but still, nothing. Of course nothing, they'll never find me all tiny like this.

Tish looks up and sees from their slow walk that they've got nothing. Suddenly Tino falls to his hands and knees and sobs quietly. Nobody makes a move. After a while, Carver says the obvious thing, to not worry because they'll find me, and that he understands how Tino feels.

Then Tino the not so obvious thing. He's in love with me.

I don't know how to feel about that. I don't know if he really is. I'm not even sure this is really happening. I decide to just listen and see how they feel about it instead. But nobody says anything. This is getting old.

Tino babbles on about regretting not saying anything to me earlier, while he still had the chance. And then Carver says he was also in love with me.

"Okay. Now I know this is a dream. No way anything this stupid would really happen." I say.

"But it is." the bug says. "Is it that surprising?"

"It's stupid is what it is. We've been friends for so long, this isn't possible."

"No rational adult would maintain a friendship with someone they like for years. But you're still kids, remember? You don't know how to deal with your feelings. These two boys dealt with theirs by spending time with you without taking a chance. To get what they really want would mean rocking the boat."

"But still. How could they like me in that way?"

"You have more admirers than you might think. Like you, truly beautiful girls are a rare flower in a field of dirt. They're the ones with a perpetual trail of boys left in their wake. You're rare because you are a true individual. But most won't approach girls like you out of fear of what their friends will think. Or even what complete strangers will think. Disgusting isn't it?"

"So..."

"Of course in the case of these two, it's because they don't want to lose you. They would rather live slightly tortured lives as friends and only friends. Oh, look. It's starting."

I wasn't paying attention but now Tino and Carver are pushing each other.

Tino says, "Of course I'm pissed. You know how hard it was being her friend when I really wanted more than that? You say you loved her but you don't care about anyone but yourself."

Carver yells right back at him and it's too much for me. I crouch down and cover my ears. Then I hear the roach's voice.

_Why aren't you watching? I thought you wanted to wake up? Here's the truth. So wake up to it._

I look up and they're on the sidewalk, rolling around with their hands at each other's collar. Tish is has her head down. Probably still crying.

A street sweeper is coming and I can feel what happens next. There's the no way Tino or Carver can hear it over their yells. Tino moves out of the way in time. Most of Carver does the same.

Carver's foot get stuck underneath the rotating wire brushes and comes back out in a split second. It happens so fast, everything is pure instinct. This roach may have something going here with this junk about instinct, it really is pure survival, pure existence. Beautiful.

Carver is screaming. I assume it's because of his foot, but no. He's screaming for his torn shoe. Funny. "Oh god, my shoe!"

A drop of blood shoots my way. Of course, when you're an insect, a drop is like a bucketfull.

I dodge it in time, it lands in front of me in a bright red dome, surrounded by smaller domes. The sight of it makes me sick and I fall. I can't summon enough strength to keep myself up, or even keep myself from tumbling into a small pool of carver's blood.

I black out.

-

All I can hear is Tish crying. What is it with this girl? Crying doesn't solve anything.

I can't see more than a few purple and yellow blurs. When my can focus again, I see Tish, looking down, worried.

I move a bit and Tish looks at me. She's not nearly as big as she was last time I was conscious.

I'm in bed. I knew it. I was dreaming. There's no roach and I'm laying here in bed. In Tish's bed. In Tish's pajamas.

"Lor!" Tish says and lays her hand on mine. "You're awake! Thank god, I was so worried!"

"Tish?" I say. "What am I doing here?"

"My parents found you in front of my house, covered in blood!"

"Huh?"

"We were in the hospital and my parents called, telling me they had found you. By the time I got here, your mom was already here. They though you were hurt, because of all the blood, but you didn't have any injuries, so they didn't take you to the hospital. Your mom cleaned you up and put you in here to rest."

"Why were you in the hospital?"

"Oh. Carver was in an accident. He lost a toe. Tino stayed behind with him."

"Oh God."

"What's wrong?"

"And what about the roach? And the brothel?"

"Maybe you should just keep resting. Save your strength."

"I'm not crazy." I mumbled and drifted back to sleep.

-

It's been weeks since this madness happened.

I haven't heard a word from Dot, Marie, Nona, Frances, the cops, or Thompson. I was relieved that he wasn't seriously hurt, but this whole thing has changed him. As for the rest, I'm guessing it was too painful to remember. As far as I know, Nona didn't shoot her dad.

I went back to the brothel since then. It was all taped off by the police. From what I was able to see, they took all the furniture away, someplace.

Everything seems more or less normal again. Except for the memories. I can't forget all that's happened, no matter how hard I try.

That cockroach. That's what bothers me the most. It seems to real and everything that happened during my time with him really did happen, but none of it makes any sense. All I can do is try not to think about it.

So now, on the surface, it's like it was before. We're hanging out by the beach, eating chili cheese fries. Tish says something smart. Tino says something sarcastic about her. Carver stares at his foot. He can still only wear one shoe because of his lost toe. It'll be weeks before he's whole again. Shoe-wise that is. He'll never have a full foot. As far as we know, his toe was vaporized on impact.

"Carver, you have to get over your toe." Tino says. "Soon you'll be wearing two shoes again and it'll all be like it used to be."

"I guess you're right. I'm going to walk with my head held high."

Carver takes off towards the snack shack, his nose in the air, then stops.

"What's wrong?" I say.

"I. Stepped. On. A disgusting cockroach! Sick! All over my one good shoe! I hate bugs! I wish they'd all just leave this town!"

"Carver." I say firmly. "Shut the hell up."

-

Finally done.

In case you didn't make the leap, this story was supposed to be a symbol for me. I am Lor.

The way that Lor took a chance by doing something unprecedented with her money, is the same way I took a chance by making a ribald story like this. I mirrored that happened in the story with what I though would happen to me. And it worked out more or less the same way (although I didn't get as much hate mail as I thought I would). But I ended up ostracizing some of The Weekenders fanfic community the way Lor ostracized her friends.

Well, mission accomplished. This was an interesting experiment for me, and I guess I'm back to writing a standard fic, although this time, it probably won't be Weekenders.

Thanks for reading. Be sure to review.


	9. Epilogue

EPILOGUE

Tino lost all his senses, for a moment. A pulse went through his brain, as though his heart redirected all his blood the wrong way, upwards. The pumping in his head was a new sensation, and for that moment he could only think was to come.

He fell to floor, gripping his head, like squeezing it would make the pain ooze out his ears. It didn't work.

He ran to the refrigerator and grabbed two bags of frozen peas and wrapped them around his melon. Sprawled on the floor, he could only close his eyes and wait for the pain to leave him. It didn't.

It could have been something serious. Maybe a tumor. He wasn't about to tempt fate waiting for simple, child-safe Acetaminophen to take effect. Suffering Tino needed something stronger.

He remembered his mom's Hysterectomy surgery. The day she was brought back, waiting for her prescription to get home, she howled with pain. After those magic pills, she was pain-free and happy and relaxed. The day she stopped taking them, Tino remembered the scene, where she put those pills, "in case she needed them."

Tino threw two half-melted bags of peas anywhere away from him and ran to his mom's bathroom. The commotion would probably wake her up, since he had to pass her bedroom to get in there, but he didn't care. As far as he was concerned, the world was coming to an end.

Tino knocked down the door and was surprised that his mom was still up and with all the lights on. And with a guy. And with a girl.

It was the guy from the museum. He was standing at the edge of the bed holding his mom's legs up and hammering away with his dog. He said, "I'm just gonna go ahead and moves this over here," while Tino's mom moaned with delight. After he adjusted his position and noticed Tino, he dropped his coffee mug. It made a light thump and a lighter splashing sound.

Tino's mom yelled, "my carpet!" without ever seeing the drop. It was sort of muffled.

The girl sitting on her face said, "hey, watch it with _my _carpet! You're gonna bite me, opening your mouth like that, right in the middle of it." She giggled.

And Tino recognized that voice. It was Moira. He should have been excited to see her in that state, but the shock of the scene overrode that.

Even more, the fissure of pain forming in his head overrode the shock after a mere two seconds of gawking. He quickly ran, back to his task. He found the bottle, it said _Take one as needed for pain._

He chewed and swallowed two before his mom realized what had happened. Tino fell back to the floor gripping his head and closing his eyes. His mom may have rushed to his side, but he couldn't focus on anything except the pain and thinking that he was happier when this sort of thing never happened.

EARLIER THAT DAY

Tino felt bad ever since Carver lost his toe to a street sweeper. He would visit Carver whenever he could, even when they didn't do anything.

Tino considered it a good day when Carver would even have the will to eat some chili fries or watch a movie. For the first few days of Carver's hospitalization and subsequent depression, Tino assumed it was separation anxiety for his lost toe, or being called a four-toed freak. It was actually because he had to walk around with an ass-ugly cast on his foot, wearing only one shoe. Carver didn't like the idea of having uneven wear on his shoes, so he got some rejects out of storage to wear for his time as an invalid. After a few days, he didn't even feel he was worthy of even owning nice shoes. Tino spent most of their time together trying to convince him otherwise.

"Hey, how did your date with Moira go? That must have been hot!" said Tino.

"You mean the pity date?" Carver mumbled.

"Hey, c'mon. She's always liked you. You two had this kind of... shoe connection."

"She spent most of the pity date talking on her cell. I even overheard her talking about meeting the only one who can fulfill her needs, later tonight."

"Really? I though you guys were made for each other."

"Well, just look at me now. I couldn't even save my favorite pair from being shredded by the slowest conveyance known to man. I lost a toe. I can only wear one shoe. And it's so ugly I can't even open my eyes."

"Hey, let's put a nice shoe on you and catch a movie. There's a nice and angsty one playing right now. It's playing at FFN."

"I don't deserve a shoe or a movie. I'm going to sleep."

"Alright. See ya around buddy."

Tino left, but couldn't bring himself to have fun without Carver. He went straight home to some TV and popcorn. It was mind-numbing, yet entertaining, so he didn't feel so guilty about having this reasonable amount of fun while Carver cried himself to sleep.

THE DAY BEFORE

Tish was at the museum with Tino, trying to figure things out.

"You can let go of my hand now." Tish said. "What did you drag me over to this corner for?"

"Um, this painting. Isn't it great?"

"Sure, Tino. It's so much different from the last fruit bowl I saw."

"Seriously, though. What are we gonna do about Carver?"

"There's nothing we can do that we haven't already tried. All we can do now is wait for his toe to heal. As soon as he can wear two shoes again, he'll be fine."

"Maybe. I just feel guilty. It seems like it's been us two having fun while the rest of the group suffers."

"I don't know if Lor is really suffering that much. You heard what she said."

"Yeah, but I don't believe her."

"I'm telling you. In due time, this will all run its course."

"Alright, I trust you."

"I believe you. You can let go of my hands now."

He did so.

"Hey, it's the museum guy." Tino said.

"I didn't he'd be such a fruit bowl fan."

Tino walked over to him, leaving Tish waiting behind, then returned to her.

"What did you talk to him about, Tino?"

"I told him about my mom's paintings. You know how she loves to paint."

"Yeah, but, well, she's not that great."

"I know that. But she's a fruit bowl fanatic! I thought he should at least see them. I gave him our number."

"I guess that's okay."

THE WEEK BEFORE

"It's all my fault." Lor thought. "I'm responsible for the deterioration of our group. All four of us. Down the drain. Still together, but hardly together. Barely speaking. Chance meetings. No activities."

She walked towards the appointed place and time.

"But it'll all change today."

The rest were waiting. At the hospital, the only place they could all meet under the circumstances.

"I'm going to tell them."

"Tell us what?" said Tino.

"That it's changing!"

"What?"

"Everything!"

"How?"

"Because we want it to!"

"That's it?"

"Yes! One grand, final, sweeping gesture to change it all!"

"From you?"

"Yes! From me! And you won't even realize I'd done it."

"Sounds good Lor." said Tish. Not a modicum of sincerity in her voice.

"You'll see. Give it time. And until that day, when we are once together, and happy, as we once were, fight through the pain."

"The pain?"

"Yes. It'll be different, but just get through it. Happiness awaits afterwards."

"Okay Lor. I'll try." said Tino, depressed about Carver.

"Me too." said Tish. A little scared. A little bratty. A little mad.

"Carver?" asked Lor.

"Alright." he mumbled.

"Were you even listening?"

"Not really."


End file.
